07 June 2013

Revival?

3 years later and the blog is still here. Time really flies. So much has changed in just 3 years. If you say 3 years is a short time, it's not really short. Neither is it a really long time. But yet looking back at the previous posts 3 years ago, it seems like it was a very different me. 

Is this post a revival of my old blog? I'm also not too sure. The urge to suddenly write a blog post just came out of nowhere. Seeing as how I get bored of things easily, not too long later this blog may become abandoned again. Depends on my mood I guess. LOL

Too many thoughts running through my mind right now all scrambling to be put down into words. Ever since graduating my diploma and starting my degree, life has been pretty much the same but emotionally it's quite a roller coaster ride. Not so much on the studying part but more on the friendship part. Somehow it's so different from high school. We've been in the same classes for almost 5 years. Well, in the first two years we didn't really mix around. But still, after 2 and a half years in degree you would expect everyone to be close buddies and bffs. I mean in high school we just spent usually one year in the same class yet everyone becomes best friends forever. Why is degree life so different?? Especially since coming to Australia, we practically see each other almost everyday. And we're even living under the same roof. Yet there still seems to be a glass wall in between us that somehow cannot be broken. Or maybe it's just my problem...

Not only are relationships tough, friendships are equally tough. Is it only just me or am I imagining things? I'm prone to over-thinking things all the time but if there wasn't a spark to start it in the first place my train of thought wouldn't have went that far, right? I always thought that being friends with someone was a straightforward thing. We spend time together, we have the same interests, naturally if you see a lot of each other then you could be friends. Is this thinking too naive of me? Maybe it's cause I'm still living under a dome and haven't seen the real face of society. I tend to forget that people live under masks and hide their real faces behind these very masks. Maybe it's cause I think naively that's why I automatically assume everyone is as naive as me. Really, I'm actually just still a little girl on the inside. 

Honestly, am I doing something wrong here? Why is it that I seem to be not only repelling men but women as well? I know I'm still living inside my shell and kinda not willing to come out of it. I know I should step out of my comfort zone so that I could see the world and experience new things and possibly lead an even better life. But hey, this type of things take time okay... It's not like you decide to change today and the next morning when you wake up you suddenly become a totally different person. But, if no one is telling me where I'm going wrong with people how am I going to know what to change right? =( 

Damn, I miss high school! Minus the strict discipline and the whole learning stuff part. LOL. I miss all the time that we used to spend together in school. I miss all the crazy stuff that we do without caring about our image. I miss how when we wanted to see and talk with each other we could just run over to their classroom in between classes. I miss our boy craziness where we would do stupid stuff just because of a boy who doesn't even care to look at us twice. I miss watching the guys playing football, basketball or whatever sport that they do. I miss the classrooms where we did all the random crazy stuff, the hall where we had our exams, the field where we had our weekly morning assembly, the basketball court where we had our PE class... I even miss sports day! (Though I hate sports I love that day just because everyone from every class and every form is all hanging around the field and I could stare non-stop. :P) Time doesn't turn back though so all of this will forever remain a memory. 

Okay, enough with the reminiscing! Just random thoughts. Anyway, done with my crapping already. :D When you're feeling down and lonely, anything just randomly comes to your mind. Feels much better after crapping it all out. So I have another piece of essay. Weird that this much inspiration doesn't come when it comes to me finishing a report or assignment. 

Thanks for staying till the end. ;) 

P/S Chatting with you always seem to lift my spirits up. =) Cheers! BFFs all the way! xoxo

2 comments:

XYBoo said...

woo? is that bff refering to me? LOLLLL glad u blog again.. Go lead a happy life. dun bother looking back. things over from time to time. if its nice it's just memorable, don't standstill & keep looking backwards. Life moves on. More & More is coming forward. U'll miss your current moment of life. we're Best friends still Best friends, appreciate u much..:)Really thankQ being with me all these tough time >.^ Life has up & down that we dont get to choose.All the best living ur life k! Hugs! See my new share quote on fb !

Lynnette said...

Yaa... it's you. LOL Anyway these are just random thoughts at that time. Maybe I think too much. We just have to accept whatever that comes our way. Just sometimes it's kinda nice to look back a bit at those carefree times. :)